Friday, 29 June 2012

Its been a bit dour here recently

despite the weather picking up;
The students left me a bottle of the German equivalent of Inches;

 Yes I did shit Yards, and Misty has been getting herself into bother with the others;
There is some light at the end of the miserable UK economic tunnel, its only humour though;
That said there is always the retail economy to lift things;

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Thanks to Thomas the Tout

For pointing out that our Scottish comedians may lose a little something in the translation, I however dont have a problem with them, well most of them any way. His main complaint is in regards to Billy Connolly, so I thought he isnt that bad;

Well it could always be Gregor Fisher as Rab C Nesbitt;

But best of all especially in stand up is the currently banned from the BBC, Frankie Boyle;

And of course his most offensive jokes;

So Scottish comedians, a big yes from me!

Friday, 22 June 2012

There is often a lot of hot air spouted

About this and that often by folk who would do better to realise they are in a greenhouse and about to start chucking loose gravel about eh CMD? At least though throughout this year of mediaocrity there has been one constant standad of excellence. Yes its in humour for without laughter life would just be doom an gloom or finacial politics as its known in our house. I should like to raise a cheer and a glass (or rather a mug of fine tea) to Al Murray for it is he that has brought us the T shirt of the year;
As a way of thank you to those followers overseas who have yet to experience the talented comdey genius that is Al Murray I will leave you with this;

Thats all folks.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Call Me Dave "Bridge to engine room, Make smoke!"

Call me a cynical old bastard but the latest piece of bluffing shite to escape from the Downing Street twin tub seems to be a weak attempt at pandering to the chattering classes on Mumsnet. Is it because clumsy dave left a sprog in a pub? Possibly so the No 10 spin machine comes out with some drivel about making life easier for working parents. So Dave who will pay for the teachers to stay behind to 8pm or will you waive CRB fees (nice earner ACPO) for the child minders which now are to be specially trained and sit for more qualifications thus forcing up their costs?
Well dave whats it to be? I suppose you arent really that bothered sat on a Mexican beach at our expense!
get a fucking grip, stop pandering to focus groups, ethnic diversity consultants and the poxy Eu.
I would like my vote in a referendum now, stop wastiung money on feckless Europeans and rebuild this country. Its not much to ask is it?

Monday, 18 June 2012

I now know how they are planning to pay for it all,

The Olympics, well the money has to come from somewhere doesnt it?

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Olympic legacy? My arse, its £40 million down the shitter!

It cost £40 million and wont be there a day after the Olympics finishes, the sports we do well in are an embarresment to the Guardian reading members of the London Olympic Committee. But there is one thing I would like to point out; "David Luckes, Head of Sport Competition for LOCOG, also defended the venue's pop up nature. "The legacy is more than bricks and mortar it's the inspiration. The thing about the Olympic Games it gives people an opportunity to see sport they would never normally see. So the ability to come here, see different sport, get involved in sport and take that forward thats a real legacy for all the sports, especially some of the lesser well known sports." Well Mr salaried sports arsewipe, £20 million thats half of what you are wasting at Woolwich (not counting any repairs to a listed Govt Owned Barracks) could have been spent at Bisley and there would have been a legacy I could have taken my kids to see and participate in. You have wasted £40 million of my money and there will be nothing to show for it. I hope you can sleep at night you thieving bastard! You have stolen the chance of another generation of shooters ever competing but you dont care do you? You fucking arsehole!
Thanks to the Independant for raising this issue; "Soldiers left out of 2012 shooting team Two members of the Army suspect prejudice and a post-Dunblane sensitivity to guns is behind their exclusion from the Olympics Two British serving soldiers have been left out of Britain's Olympic shooting squad. Their omission has sparked allegations that they are being excluded because they are members of the military. There are also claims that the UK remains embarrassed about the sport in the wake of the Dunblane school massacre. Warrant Officer Morgan Cook, 39, and Corporal Ian Jack, 27, both serving members of the British Army, were told last week there is no place for them at London 2012 despite both men achieving the qualifying scores. The decision leaves the UK with no representatives in the men's Olympic rapid fire free pistol event. WO Cook, the world No 1 in his sport as well as the British Forces shooting champion, said both he and Cpl Jack are "devastated" by the decision. "There seems to be a personal as well as a political agenda. You must wonder if there is some sort of prejudice against Army people and pistol shooters in particular." Pistol shooters have been sensitive to discrimination after they became pariahs when 16 children and a teacher were shot dead in the Scottish community of Dunblane in 1996 by a deranged gun collector. The tragedy resulted in a handgun ban. A petition on behalf of the two soldiers will be presented to the Defence Secretary, Philip Hammond, at a military function this evening. Kate Hoey MP, a former sports minister and ex-president of British Shooting, has called for a review of the decision. Cpl Jack won a major international championship in Berlin six months after taking up the sport two years ago. "Ian and I believe we both have genuine podium chances but we are being discriminated against on a technicality," WO Cook said. He has a copy of a scorecard signed by a coach, Hugh Hunter, which shows he had a practice score of 587 out of 600, 19 more than the mark set by British Shooting and four points higher than the Olympic record. "It is outrageous that the British public is covering the cost of the Games yet is witnessing potential Olympic champions being denied the opportunity to compete," he said. He called into question the qualifying criteria. As a result of the decision against the two men, Britain will field only one pistol shooter in an 11-strong squad – 27-year-old Georgina Geiki. In March, the IoS revealed that Britain's most celebrated marksman, Mick Gault, had also missed out on the Olympics despite being the nation's most prolific Commonwealth Games competitor in any sport – he has 17 medals, including nine golds. British Shooting says the qualifying scores attained by both soldiers were not eligible as they were made in practice and not designated events, criteria agreed with the British Olympic Association. It denies any bias against service personnel or pistol shooters. Phil Scanlan, the British Shooting team leader, said: "I refute any suggestion of prejudice. The situation is simple: they haven't made the qualifying score in competition. We decided on a specific qualification for the GB team. We felt this was the fairest way." The shooting row follows controversy over the taekwondo star Aaron Cook who was left out of the Olympic team despite the fact that he is the world-rated No 1 in his weight class." So there you have it, Villified by the press courtesy of a 4 member organisation called the GCN and politicians spineless waste of votes that they are but worst of all the Chairman of the National Pistol Association at that time was Coe. yes Lord Smug Cunt himself. I for one will take great pleasure in asking him how far Glasgow and Bournemouth are from London! Thats if he can still speak with a mouthful of rifle butt!

Saturday, 16 June 2012

fence sitting only gets you splinters in the arse

I know Call Me Dave cant tell merkel what we want him to, he has to sit around a table with them but this man who stands to lose his fat Eu pension should we leave the mess has said it like it is. No splinters in his arse!

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Phillip Hammond

Yes Phillip Hammond , not the wee fellah from Top Gear but the Mr Bean lookalike that inhabits the MoD
has decided that the army will face some serious challenges. He has also declared according to the tommorows fish wrapper that;
"Defence secretary reveals wide-ranging shakeup that will cut number of troops by 20,000 in next eight years

Whole regiments could be axed or merged, and infantry battalions and armoured units disappear as the army faces its biggest shakeup since the end of the cold war, Philip Hammond, the defence secretary, will say on Thursday.

The army will be cut from 102,000 to 82,000 by the year 2020 and will have to rely more on reserves and private contractors, he is expected to say.
But it will continue to provide the "teeth" in future military operations as Britain's European allies provide the logistics backup, Hammond will say at a London conference on land warfare run by the Royal United Services Institute thinktank.
Defence officials emphasised that more functions of the army would be "outsourced" – potentially to include more training and logistics as well as backup security work.
Restructuring the British army will "rethink the way we deliver every aspect of military effect in order to maximise capability at the front line". In future, he will say, the army must be "thinking innovatively about how combat service support is provided. Using more systematically the skills available in the reserve and from our contractors. Working closely with partners to operate logistics more rationally through [Nato] alliance structures. Looking to others to provide the tail, where Britain is concentrating on providing the teeth".

Hammond will stress the importance of the regimental tradition – "maintaining the ethos, traditions and connections that are part of what makes the British army so effective – particularly, a regimental system and regionally focused recruiting", he will say. But he is expected to emphasise the point that a regular army of 82,000 will have a very different structure to one of 102,000. "Some units inevitably will be lost or will merge," the defence secretary will warn.
Hammond will say there is "no question of abandoning the regimental system... that does not mean that we can avoid difficult decisions as the army gets smaller." History and heritage deliver "tangible military benefits in the modern British army".

The speech comes at a difficult time for the army as it tries to work out a role for land forces after most UK soldiers leave Afghanistan by the end of 2014. The likelihood is that future conflicts will rely more on drones, precision missiles and small groups of special forces on the ground, rather than large numbers of ground troops.

No final decision has been taken on what regiments and other army units may go, defence officials maintain.

There has been speculation that Scottish regiments, including the Black Watch, are being targeted because fewer recruits are coming from the local population.

Commonwealth recruits, now accounting for about one in 10 recruits in some regiments. Armoured and artillery units will also be hit as the number of heavy guns and battle tanks are reduced to make way for more agile and lighter brigades.

Reserves will take on a greater role. Hammond is expected to refer to plans to transform the role of reserve forces in frontline military operations. The Ministry of Defence plans to invest an additional £1.8bn in the reserves over 10 years.

"The future reserves must be structured to provide, as they do today, some niche specialists capabilities that aren't cost-effective to maintain on a full time basis – for example in areas of cyber, medical, or intelligence", Hammond is expected to tell Thursday's conference.

"The integrated army concept means that light infantry battalions will be reinforced on deployment through a permanent partnership with reserve battalions", he is due to say.

However, there are fears that plans to increase the number of reserves, and their roles, by so much are far too optimistic.

His reference to UK's allies providing the "tail", while the British supply the "teeth" reflects increasing frustration in London with the failure of many European countries to adapt or modernise their forces against the background of budget cuts and conflicts — actual and potential — very different from anything imagined during the cold war."

Also tucked away inside his speech was a reference to the cultural identity of the armed forces and a reference to units that cannot recruit an ethnic mix representative of the current UK  population will face the axe.
Whilst this may cause more than just a few harrumphs amongst the Daily Wail readership I should like to point out that all of the current British Regiments and Corps recruit widely including many foreign and commonwealth recruits however the one that has consistantly failed to change its ethnic make up has also tripled its running costs in recent years and a forecasted legacy cost to the treasury which now far outweighs its usefulness.
Not worked it out yet?
Step forward St Joanna Of Lumley, for it is she who hast cast the mold that will break upon the strapped for cash hardened floor of the treasury.
The Gurkhas who by forcing up the cost to the MoD and the DWP for themselves and their dependants have brought about an  end to the centuries old tradition of crown service.
If an army unit cannot be integrated it must face disbandment and that I am afraid means the Gurkhas fit the bill. The Gurkhas should however be given the same chance as every other F&C recruit, serve in a mixed unit or take the redundancy package. We dont have the First Fijian Regiment on our books despite what followers of navy Rugby may claim, they serve in a mixed unit. They do mix with their friends but when I served you would find single county groups as much as single company groups out socialising, the army is its own tribe and now the Gurkhas must join it or face leaving!
Lets not forget that the MoD, the organisation (if they could be called organised) charged with providing defense has failed to control its budgets and under Labour its headcount of civilian posts grew by a third.
Perhaps correspondingly these posts will be cut now? I cant see it myself. Also the armed forces whilst still involved operationally in 4 areas outside of the UK is cancelling leave and asking TA to volunteer to be mobilised to provide the security for Lord Coes sports day aka the Olympics which is without a doubt a huge pointless black hole on par with the millenium dome!
So whilst I hate to admit that we should be cutting our cloth tto suit our purse, the cuts should be fair and across the board from top to bottom.
It should start with the nations leadership showing the way.
No pay rise or expenses for MPs for the next 10 years. No free travel for MPs, after all they can be put up in the former barrack blocks they will be asking soldiers to leave soon. they will of course have to pay for it as the soldiers who serve do, after all the chose to serve!

Well if the Government cant entertain us

Then I am sure the advertising industry will, this I am sure will touch a few hearts;

Monday, 11 June 2012

I thought the silly season started when Parliament shut up shop

It seems though that bashing scousers and nutters is the new sport, The Telegraph has a nice tidy little dig at Liverpool council, if so then form a queue eh, cos dey do dat dont dey!

I've always been a fan of feeding pigeons, usually an ounce of No.6 at about 1500 fps followed by feeding the ferals to the ferrets.
Although since putting the 1000 litre water butt so close to my office window that the window doesnt open far enough the woodies visiting my chicken feeder get left alone. They are now so fat that even the cat cant take them on!

Just what did they expect to find?



Vampires of course!
lets face it no self respecting virgin should go to bed without one especially in Victorian North Yorkshire,, which by the way the last time I looked was still there!

Thursday, 7 June 2012

BBQ season is on us

Well its wind, rain and the odd bit of sun and at last I am making a dent in these;
I seem to recall that was something like 60 pounds of sausages after we had taken the good roasts and joints off! Its always nice to see a mornings work put to good use;

The  rifle that did the biz is up for sale, Mc Shug however is in Wales;

Monday, 4 June 2012

Sat at the BBQ

Enjoying a moderately mild bank holiday and the Tea Lady points out another rattus rattus this time in the dog run helping himself to dog food. The 9mm strikes again;
 I thought I would advertise the cartridge suppliers;
 The weather proof BBQ area, well it is a bank holiday isnt it;
 
The old garden BBQ still giving good service:
 The weather today was hit and miss but warm enough;

Sunday, 3 June 2012

Big Game hunting

This greedy fellah had been sat under my chicken feeder for a few days and he had been quick enough to  dodge me when I triied to get him in the telescopic sights of the air rifle. So I broke out the 9mm rimfire shotgun and first stab with open sights and dead he is;
He is about average size for a local, seen next to my dainty size 11s;
The 9mmrf is a Voere and very good too;
I'm glad I didnt sell it as its ideal for ratting, I wonder if it would work on Foxes?

Happy Diamond Jubilee weekend

After months of drought it decides to rain but hey ho here we go;