Sunday, 30 September 2012

Being Ally or just trying too hard?

Allyness, (thank you Paras) or plain warryness as we knew it is an emotive subject on the Army Rumour Service Nowadays. Its got to the point where some folk are just trying too hard, I mmean judge for yourselves;
My first reaction was, "My havent Gimp suits come along!"
 I at first thought they were being stupid but training rarely takes into account the season, having watched a Platoon of PPCLI Recruits in July wearing Arctic kit pulling Pulks around Wainwright Camp in Alberta kind of confirms it, besides training cant be warry;
 My own effort is really about how many different ways there are to cook dehydrated rctic compo mutton stew, curry wins every time;
 The goddfather of allyness/warry looks has to be the SAS Trooper on Ops in the Dhofar;

Sunday morning sense of humour


As its a sunday morning, I cant be arsed to walk the dogs just yet and I am amusing myself with the internet I thought I would dig out some of the funny pics and cartoons sent to me over the last few weeks;
Who says a picture doesnt paint a thousand words?
 Living dangerously;
 Must be a scouser;
 Needs no words;

In a some would say desperate effort to restore interest in the UK Currency

The Bank of England has been overheard trying to get the Palace to agree to update its paper money, after all if this doesnt generate a desire to hang onto ten pound notes what will?


Thursday, 27 September 2012

A public view of the Met?

If this is how many of you view the current politically motivated clusterfuck that comes across as the Metropolitan Police Service then you are not alone.
Its all very sad isnt it?

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

You Tube time again

Safe for work but definetly odd, what are the aussies doing?

Sunday, 23 September 2012

A trip to the Dales

In the course of dropping my youngest son, stalking partner and all round good egg, Alex the left hooker at University we stopped over in the Dales near Sheffield. The views were breathtaking and the beer stomach lining. I enjoyed it all especially envious of him having such opportunities ahead of him. The T Lady was of course naturally upset as his leaving but all he wanted to do was go to the pub and watch the football. Roll on Christmas, my shooting partner is back for a month then.

We stayed at a friends farm, views were superb and the local pub was good;

 Interesting beer;
 Tasted very nice;
 Sunset from the pub terrace;
 Village church from the same terrace;
 The pub menu, note the liver and bacon sandwich, Yorkshire 100%!
 Dawn from Dawns place;

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Time for some humour

I'm currently enduring European football over at 94's house, he is addicted, me I am thankful that at least Clive hasnt forgotten me;
Thanks Clive.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Season opener

Invited to pick up on a duck flight with dogs so I travelled over the county towards the A21 and met up with an old friend from our last shoot and the keeper. Basically well fed ducks and a manic hours action with 4 dogs ended up with a bag of 55. I will be going back there me thinks. Arthur couldnt help but stick his face in the pictures. They were all I had time for, I couldnt have swung a gun if I had the nous to have taken one:


Friday, 14 September 2012

Friday Evening Humour

Well I wil try and spread the joy courtesy of AJD, Mr FM and Arsse;



Nick Clegg
Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?"



Clegg: "Well I didn't bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!!!"



Cashier: "I'm sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."



Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."



Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."



Clegg: "I need this cheque cashed."



Cashier: "Perhaps there's another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID.

To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.

With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.





Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque..So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Deputy Prime Minister?"



Clegg stood there thinking and finally says: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at."


Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, deputy Prime Minister?"
There should really be a thread on quality journalism and headlines I wish I had written, I suppose without the News of the World we will have to make do;






Thursday, 13 September 2012

Hillsborough

Now all grief whoring jokes to one side, a lot  of the arguments for opening a new enquiry wasn't about compensation, apparently they only want the truth. Well the truth is that the cops fucked up, yes I used that word. Now the apparent perversion of the course of Justice which carries quite heavy penalties will no doubt be looked at by the CPS and names will be named! However if anyone is under any illusion that its not about compensation I will let you look at this case detailed below. Now read it and tell me that there wont be more?

Alcock v Chief Constable of South Yorkshire Police



Brief Summary of the Facts (straight from Westlaw)

There was no duty of care to the friends and relations of those who died in the Hillsborough disaster who watched the event on television.


D was responsible for policing a football match at the Hillsborough stadium where, as a result of overcrowding, 95 people died and many more were injured. Live pictures of the event, an FA Cup semi final, were being broadcast. Ps were all friends or relations of the victims. Some witnessed events from other parts of the stadium. Some saw them live on television, or heard of the events and later saw them on television recordings. All suffered shock and psychiatric illness and claimed damages in negligence from D. At first instance, the judge held that nine Ps who had been in or immediately outside the stadium or had watched it live on television could claim damages but others were excluded. The Court of Appeal allowed D's appeal.


The House of Lords held the Court of Appeal's decision, dismissing Ps' appeal.


You couldn't make it up!!

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Law and Order

Whilst the press are now distracted by the goings in in France it at least gives me a chance to discuss other shooting matters close to home, yes it does beg the question regarding contract killers making an utter mess of things and the French Investigators are led by a Magistrate so that will be fun but we have had some of our own issues here.
Thankfully they have been released without charge but Internet forums have been buzzing with the usual suspects shouting about police incompetence and bullying attempting to persecute the shooters even if they cant prosecute them. Then the serving plod have responded with the usual responses which predictably get a bit defensive but to be honest they cant win. They cant catch the scrotes, they cant return your property and often don't investigate hoping that a criminal when caught usually by their own stupidity will accept responsibility for many of these  crimes despite never having been  near them so as to get an easier sentence. This is actually illegal and causes light touch sentencing which the plod then blame on the judiciary.
Meanwhile in a police cell someone who hasn't broken a single law gets 3 days of grief and isn't aloud to talk to their wife in the cause of investigating a crime. The crime was scumbags broke in. The Householder reacted within his rights and hasn't actually broken any laws. trust me he hasn't.
Now  for those of you unused to dealing with the Police a handy guide has been drafted by a kind member of the Army Rumour Service. As you may expect it is funny in places but tragically so as it seems to be true;


"1. Never explain to the Police


If the Police arrive to lock you up, say nothing. You are a decent person and you may think that reasoning with the Police will help. “If I can only explain, they will realise it is all a horrible mistake and go away”. Wrong. We do want to talk to you on tape in an interview room but that comes later. All you are doing by trying to explain is digging yourself further in. We call that stuff a significant statement and we love it. Decent folk can’t help themselves, they think that they can talk their way out. Wrong.

Admit Nothing


To do anything more than lock you up for a few hours we need to prove a case. The easiest route to that is your admission. Without it, our case may be a lot weaker, maybe not enough to charge you with. In any case, it is always worth finding out exactly how damning the evidence is before you fall on your sword. So don’t do the decent and honourable thing and admit what you have done. Don’t even deny it or try to give your side of the story. Just say nothing. No confession and CPS are on the back foot already. They forsee a trial. They fear a trial. They are looking for any excuse to send you home free.


Keep your mouth shut


Say as little as possible to us. At the custody office desk a Sergeant will ask you some questions. It is safe to answer these. For the rest of the time, say nothing.


Claim Suicidal Thoughts

A debatable one this. Claiming to be thinking about topping yourself has several benefits. If you can keep it up, it might just bump up any compensation payable later. On the other hand you may find yourself in a paper suit with someone watching your every move.


Always always always have a solicitor


Duh. No brainer this one. Unless you know 100% for sure that your mate the solicitor does criminal law and is good at it, ask for the Duty Solicitor. They certainly do criminal law and they are good at it. Then listen to what the solicitor says and do it. Their job is to get you off without the Cops or CPS laying a glove on you if at all possible. It is what they get paid for. They are free to you. There is no down side. Now decent folks think it makes them look like they have something to hide if they ask for a solicitor. Irrelevant. Going into an interview without a solicitor is like taking a walk in Tottenham with a big gold Rolex. Bad things are very likely to happen to you. I wouldn’t do it and I interview people for a living.


Actively complain about every officer and everything they do

Did they cuff you when they brought you in? Were they rude to you? Did they racially or homophobically abuse you? Didn’t get fed? Cell too cold? You are decent folk who don’t want to make a fuss but trust me, it pays to whinge and no matter how trivial and / or poorly founded your complaint there are people who will uncritically listen to you and try and prove the complaint on your behalf. Some of them are even police officers. Nothing like a complaint to muddy the waters and suggest that you are only in court because the vindictive Cops have a grudge against you. Far fetched? Wait until your solicitor spins it in court and you come over as Ghandi.


Show no respect to the legal system or anybody working in it


You think that if you are a difficult, unpleasant, sneering, unco-operative and rude things will go badly for you and you will be in more trouble. No sirree Bob. It seems that in fact the worse you are, the easier things will go for you if, horror of horrors, you do end up convicted. Remember to fake a drink problem if you haven’t developed one as a result of dealing with us already. Magistrates and Judges do seem to like the idea that you are basically good but the naughty alcohol made you do it. They treat you better. Crazy I know but true.



So there you go, basically anything you try and do because you are decent and straightforward hurts you badly. Act like an habitual, professional, lifestyle criminal and chances are you will walk away relatively unscathed. Copy the bad guys, its what they do for a living."

So there you have it, if it was a level playing field then the armed response units wouldn't shoot so many innocent persons and never be called to account for it would they?

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Likely to cause offence?

Well seeing how no one has been offended or outraged for all of 5 minutes we must be doing well. Time to change that me thinks;
"Frankie Boyle has defended jokes he made on Twitter about the Paralympics, saying they were "celebratory".


The comedian called the Saudi Arabian team "mainly thieves", referring to criminals having their hands removed.

Boyle tweeted: "I'll be joking about Paralympics same way I joked about the Olympics. That's my job yo."

He added: "Nobody thinks it's a good thing to laugh at the disabled. But it is a genuine problem that we're not allowed to laugh with the disabled."

Boyle was supported by some of his online followers including Scottish comedian and actor Greg Hemphill, who said: "Well said mate. Inclusion vs. exclusion.""
As my mate 94 (100% disability and recovering from a stroke) said, if you cant laugh what can you do?
So as I havent offended anyone recently I shall include mental illness here, for inclusions sake of course;
As my PTSD suffering mate would explain, "Laughter is the best medicine!"